Preschool Ideas for my 3 year old while being Homebound

Here are just a few of the things I’ve been doing with my 3 year old to keep us both busy. All easy, quick activities that keep her attention. 

🍎Follow along on insta @lilmrskimberly

🐛 🐜 Bugs 🐜 🐛.  We read “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and danced to the “Hungry Caterpillar” song by The Learning Station on repeat (google it- so cute, my preschoolers loved it). 

🐛B played in a fun bug inspired sensory bin (black beans, plastic bugs, flowers, digging tools).

🐛We played a fun bug math game. Can do this one with plastic bugs (or print some), a dice, and an ice cube tray. kiddos roll die, identify the numeral (or amount of dots) on the die, and count out that amount of bugs. Each bug is placed in a square in the ice cube tray. Children play until the whole ice cube tray is full. We also used this grid from prekinders 

https://www.prekinders.com/gridgames/bug10.pdf

🐛She then went on a bug hunt. I just put the plastic bugs inside eggs and hide them around the yard. She loved it! 

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🚀 We then went to Outer Space. 

 🚀. We read “Peppa in Space”, watched a space ship take off on YouTube, and danced to “Zoom, zoom, zoom I’m going to the moon” on repeat.                    
                             

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👩‍🚀 B then played with her space themed sensory bin (black beans, alien & astronaut figurines and foam pieces). 

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👩‍🚀We then had some fun with plastic eggs wrapped up in tin foil to make “asteroids”. B played hot potato trying to hold them on a spoon, then had a blast tossing them into a bean bag game we have that I turned into a rocket ship (you could make one out of a cardboard box or just use a laundry basket). Her favorite part was unraveling the asteroids to find little aliens 👽 hidden inside (you could use any little items you have on hand or little snacks).  👩‍🚀👽🚀

Rainbow Rice

🌈Rainbow Rice Sensory Bin🌈 with a simple color sorting/counting idea.

We do a lot of sensory bins in our house. It is a great way to keep your kiddos busy and give you a breather. You can use any large bin you have at home. This is what we use:

 Sterilite 28qt Clear Plastic Under Bed Storage Bin Clear with White Lid, from Target $4.99


This is one of my favorite sensory bins to make each year because it lasts forever and can be used so many ways.

SUPPLIES FOR DYEING RICE

inexpensive, long grain white rice
vinegar
food coloring
Ziploc bags

Mix 1 cup of rice with ½ tsp of vinegar and add a bunch of drops of food coloring to a large ziploc bag. Repeat to make each color of the rainbow. Then shake, shake, shake up the bags!

Spread rice on a cookie sheet to dry for a few hours.

Hope After a Miscarriage

22 DAYS- That’s how long I had in pregnancy bliss - the happiness and joy that comes after you are so desperately waiting for those 2 lines to appear on that little test. I took the test on January 2nd and was so ecstatic I couldn’t wait to tell my husband. I quickly wrapped up the test and put it into a leftover Christmas gift bag and had Brooklyn (my daughter) give it to her Daddy. Needless to say he was surprised. Yet, we were both scared to get too excited as we had discussed and planned for troubles getting pregnant again.

You see, I had complications with my first pregnancy due to fibroids that have haunted me for years. They required surgery to remove before we conceived and then grew back again and caused issues when I was pregnant with my baby girl. So coupled with my anxiety, I was nervous throughout my first pregnancy and even more so once I got that positive test the second time around. My doctors explained they weren’t sure if the fibroids will cause troubles conceiving or carrying to term for my next pregnancy.

Since we found out early this time around- at 4 weeks along (we didn’t find out until I was 7 weeks with Brooklyn) we decided to wait to tell family. It was so hard not to share the news with anyone as I was so excited in spite of my fears.

I was thrilled with the idea of Brooklyn being a big sister. I was thrilled to be a mommy times two. I started downloading pregnancy apps, rereading “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”, buying new fancy prenatals, and pinning pregnancy announcement and gender reveal ideas on Pinterest. I started talking to my baby and thinking about what we could do to make our spare bedroom a nursery. I was  beyond petrified as I mentioned and didn’t want to get too excited in case something happened but I also wanted to be positive and hopeful. I must have taken 8 tests just to be sure.

Around week 5 I started having cramps and light spotting but was told it was normal and as long as I didn’t see any red blood I was ok. I asked for hcg tests just to make sure and my levels were rising and looked good and things seemed to be going as planned.

DAY 22- Our 1st ultrasound was scheduled on Brooklyn’s 2nd birthday. We planned to go in as a family after we took Brooklyn out for a little birthday celebration. I was so estatic to have her hear the heartbeat and see her little brother or sister on the screen. I would have been almost 8 weeks. As I lay there I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t see anything that I saw around the same time with Brooklyn. I tried to be positive and kept telling myself “It’s just those damn fibroids hiding the baby, everything will be okay and she’ll find it”. That didn’t happen. The x-ray tech turned off the machine and said, “I didn’t see anything I would want to see at this point” and had me change and go wait out in the waiting room for a radiologist to review the scans. Terrified my husband and I looked at each other as we both knew what was coming next but we didn’t say anything. We waited forever and finally the tech came out and had me go to my OB’s office for the results. We waited for over an hour for them to ultimately tell us they were still reviewing my scans and they would call us with the results. I cried I think more than I ever have in my whole life on that ride home.

I felt so empty. So depressed. So angry. I felt ashamed and stupid. How did I let myself get so attached knowing something like this could happen? How could I put my baby girl through this on her birthday of all days?

We got home and I finally got the call while I was trying to eat a little dinner. The doctor said they saw no signs of life and that I had to come in for a second scan to see if there were any changes the following week. She told me to not get my hopes up and prepare for the possibility of having a miscarriage and what to expect if that did happen.

I cried and cried and let myself be sad but then wiped my tears and hugged my little girl so tight that night. A couple days later we celebrated Brooklyn’s birthday with family and friends and I did my best to put on a brave face. Inside I was crumbling but it helped to talk to a few people privately about what was happening. It helped to talk about it and I was slowly digesting the idea that we were really having a miscarriage.

My next scan came around and I was hoping and praying and doing my best to stay positive in spite of all my fears. I read about people having bad first scans and then miracously getting a beautiful heartbeat on the next ultrasound and I prayed that would be our outcome, but I had prepared myself for the bad news. This time I didn’t cry as the tech turned off the machine with no good news for us. We once again went home broken-hearted without an image of our baby.

The next few days were hard. REALLY hard. I was still feeling pregnant, dealing with symptoms that we’re hard to swallow as I knew my body still thought I had a baby growing inside me. I was super naseuous and had severe pains and cramps creep in at night. I took Brooklyn to a music class and 3 of the moms there are super pregnant so that was a tough pill to swallow. I didn’t think that would be hard. It’s like bam all of a sudden everywhere you go there are pregnant women and things related to having a baby all around you. I deleted all my pregnancy apps and packed away the pregnancy books. I bawled when tucking away the “I’m a Big Sister” book I got for Brooklyn.

We got the confirmation that I did in fact have a miscarriage and that it probably happened early on in the pregnancy-  too soon to be able to see the baby on the scans. My doctor explained due to my history I would have to have surgery to remove the “remains” (a D&C). Even though I was so scared to have surgery I was glad to have answers and some closure.

Aftermath: the surgery was fairly “easy” and so far I am doing really good physically. Yet, emotionally I am drained. My hormones are all over the place and I’m easily upset and crying at the drop of a hat. It’s hard to not blame yourself- was it something I ate? Was it the day I forgot to take my prenatal? Was it the day I ran outside when it was freezing and snowing? Was it that time I bumped my stomache on Brooke’s crib?

It’s hard because of course everyone feels terrible for what happened to you- but no one knows quite what to say unless they have experienced this kind of loss. Looking back, I wish I could go back and change how I reacted when I found out a relative and a friend had their miscarriages.

Yet, I’m doing my best to get back into a routine for Brooklyn and myself. I started working out again (I was so naseuous and depressed I stopped for a bit) and that has helped a lot. I’ve been reading a lot of blog posts and articles about others’ experiences with miscarriages and that is very therapeutic for me. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. That’s why I wanted to write about my own experience- in hopes I can help even one other person know they are not alone.

There are the stages of grief that everyone talks about and I have definitely experienced them the last couple of weeks. I was in denial and shock. I bargained with myself (e.g., what if I did this or didn’t do that?). I was angry. I was depressed. But I’m hopeful for the acceptance part of it all. I know the
pain will creep in and some days will be harder than others but I want to remain hopeful.

HOPE- At first, I was so angry I didn’t want to even think about trying again and then I was scared because what if this happens again and I can’t deal with the pain?  But I’ve decided that I’m going to choose to hold on to HOPE. Hope for the future and that when the storm clears there will be a rainbow waiting for my little family.

Another thing that has helped me heal and gives me hope when I’m feeling really down is my belief that my grandma is rocking my baby up in heaven and that they both are now our guardian angels. I like to think that one day I’ll get to meet my little angel baby in heaven.

22 days- doesn’t seem like a lot in the scheme of things but it’s enough time to start planning for a lifetime of beautiful moments with your baby. At first, I felt bad that I was grieving the loss of a baby when I wasn’t that far along but as a nurse said to me, “losing a baby at any point sucks”. Allowing myself permission to grieve has been a big first step in allowing me to find some peace.  It has enabled me to be hopeful for the chance to dream and plan for more precious moments with my rainbow baby.

I pray for all the mamas who have angel babies and all those who are wishing for positive pregnancy tests this year.

Lots of Love,

Kimberly

My Breastfeeding Journey

I have been wanting to write this post for a while now, but didn't know quite what to say or how to say it. I wanted to share a little bit of my journey with breastfeeding in hopes to help maybe just one Mama out there.

Even long before I got pregnant,  I heard the saying "breast is best" and took it to heart and believed it was true. I look back on some of my conversations with moms I know who formula fed that I may have offended because I unknowingly shamed them for not providing "the best" for their child. I told them when I had a baby, I was going to breastfed because well, "breast is best". Let me just go ahead and say right now that I now believe whole heartedly that FED IS BEST! 

When I was pregnant I was so excited to breastfed my soon to be little girl. I read books about it and took a class with my supportive husband. However, I didn't think too much into it, because “how hard could it be?” It's the most "natural thing in the world" I thought.

Jump ahead to giving birth to Brooklyn via c-section and all the joys and anxiety that came with the nurses suddenly placing this beautiful little girl into my arms that I now am solely reasonable for nourishing with MY body. I just assumed she would latch right on and we would go on our merry mommy-daughter blissful nursing way. This was not the case at all for us! The next few days we were in the hospital were a whirlwind of what seemed like endless lactation consultants (LC) visits, nipple shields, pain and discomfort, pumping, SNS (supplemental nursing system) feedings, countless nursing positions, lots of tears, and some little victories. Feeding Brooklyn definitely did not come natural for me.

After many hours of stress and confusion, Brooklyn and me began getting the hang of it! Things seemed to be on a upward swing. We brought our bundle of joy home and I was advised to continue pumping after every nursing session. Brooklyn took forever to eat and the whole process was exhausting (about 1 hour each nursing session). My hubby helped so much and would feed a couple ounces of the milk I pumped after I breastfed her.

I had a lactation consultant visit my house, which was wonderful. She told me I could stop pumping as my supply was regulating. Things seemed to finally be getting better. Brooklyn preferred using a nipple shield but was nursing well. I was always a nervous nelly though, and was never quite sure if I was doing things correctly and I was always anxious she wasn’t getting enough. Postpartum anxiety was something I struggled with the first few months after her birth and definitely played a role in my fears and stress with breastfeeding. Brooklyn and I started going to a local breastfeeding support group, which really helped me to gain confidence in nursing. It was so nice to talk to other moms who had questions and concerns like me about breastfeeding and it was great to just get out of the house.

Everyone kept saying, “Give it two weeks and it will get better”; “The first two weeks are the hardest and then it’s easy”. Things never really got any easier for us though. We had our good days and bad days with nursing. Brooklyn continued to gain weight steadily, however, so I beginning to think that soon things would be easier.

We tried everything to get her off the nipple shield in hopes that would help. We were advised by my LC to take her to a local dentist to see if she had a lip or tongue tie. Turns out she had both! We made the difficult decision to get them corrected. We were told this could help solve all our nursing problems and that most moms report that right away latching and breastfeeding in general is so much better. This was not the case for us. She still needed the shield and still took forever to eat. During this time, we also found out that Brooklyn had a milk protein allergy so I went dairy free to help her tummy troubles.

After several weeks of continuing to have a hot and cold nursing relationship with Brooklyn and some stubborn clogs we discovered Brooklyn had dropped some ounces at her 2 month checkup. I was horrified. Not knowing exactly what happened but thinking my supply was compromised her pediatrician and my LC advised me to start pumping again after every time I nursed to jump charge my supply and make sure she was getting enough and thus would continue gaining weight.

For the next few weeks I continued to feed her for her hour nursing sessions and then I pumped after. The whole process took at least an hour and a half and Brooklyn ate about every 3 hours, so I was exhausted to say the least. As soon as I was done cleaning up my pump parts, it was time to nurse her again.

Brooklyn seemed so content and happy after her bottles and began gaining weight again. She began to prefer the flow of the bottles and started resisting nursing sessions. She would cry, I would cry and a cycle of very challenging nursing sessions had me feeling so defeated. One night I just had enough of all the stress and anxiety and I made the extremely difficult decision to exclusively pump (EP) just shy of her turning 3 months. I felt so defeated and slightly ashamed that I couldn’t make this work for her, but I was happy and optimistic that I could continue giving her “momma’s milk”. Thus, as pumping mama’s say “the pump life chose me”.

I began pumping every 3 hours during the day and went 4 hour stretches at night to continue building up my supply. My exhaustion wasn’t able to subside but this avenue was easier and less stressful for me. I loved the idea of knowing exactly how much Brooklyn was getting and seeing her content and happy after feeds was so wonderful.

Exclusively pumping is no joke though and I seriously give anyone who does or has EPed a standing ovation. Your days are spent worrying about your pump routine and schedule, washing pump parts, organizing and cleaning bottles, all while trying to hold/entertain/feed/take care of your little one all in the process. It becomes a full time job.

Eping for me wasn’t easy either as it took me sometimes up to an hour to empty (my damn flow is so slow!). In the beginning I got awful weekly clogs that kept me up for hours at night trying to release so I wouldn’t get mastitis. I had bruised and bleeding nipples for weeks. I was attached to the pump for up to 4-5 hours a day! There were days I wanted to throw my pump out the window and call it a day. However, after following my strict pump schedule I began to see my supply increase and I was fortunate enough to maintain a good output with EPing so I kept going.

I pumped alone in a room or my car during weddings, concerts, beach trips, vacations, baptisms, family outings, holidays and parties when my friends and loved ones were happily celebrating and making memories without me. I had to meticulously plan out my days to make sure I got a pump session in right before I went somewhere and then count down until the next time I had to pump. Some days I literally felt attached to the wall and this damn machine. I can’t tell you how many times I had to forego or change plans because I had to pump. Being an exclusive pumper can be a very lonely road. Most just don’t get it. I think my family thinks I’m nuts for keeping it up as long as I have and think I should have called it quits long ago.

I kept up my crazy pumping schedule until Brooklyn’s 1/2 birthday. This was my ultimate breastfeeding goal. I wanted her to have breastmilk until she was 6 months and then I would quit I told myself.  Once I reached 6 months I started to drop pumps and things got a lot easier. I decided to keep going. By the time she was 9 months I was only pumping 3 times a day and I was able to get out and about with her a lot more and I started to feel “normal” again. I thought I would stop at 9 months but I kept going.

Fast forward to now- we just celebrated Brooklyn’s first birthday. I made it ONE year breastfeeding my little girl! I never thought I would get to this point pumping. I have pumped 10,268 ounces or 80 gallons for my little girl since I started keeping track of my pumping outputs!!

Now I am finally ready to wean. I am down to 1 pump per day but can’t quite seem to hang up my flanges just yet, but I am excited to finally be done very soon. I was lucky enough to have an oversupply so I was able to store a deep freezer full of milk for Brooklyn so she will continue to be able to have breastmilk for a while even after I stop completely, which I am so thankful for.

This journey has not been easy for me. I had a very hard time letting go of our nursing relationship. I can’t help but feel sad and down in the dumps when I see my friends or others on social media share how easy or how wonderful breastfeeding is going for them. I spent many nights crying and feeling ashamed that I couldn’t continue providing Brooklyn with a nursing bond that I so desperately craved. Yet, I look down at my sleeping baby and see her dreaming so peacefully, milk drunk from a bottle I was able to pump for her and I too am able to feel at peace.

Although our nursing bond was never what I hoped it could be, we developed a unique and special bond just the same. Now when I pump in the morning she happily looks up at me with her big brown eyes and grabs and pulls at the tubes and milk collection bottles with her big smile and I think I’ve done alright for my little girl. At the end of the day your baby doesn’t care where their milk is coming from- the boob directly, via a machine, a can, or a donor. What matters is that you love your baby.

I’ve learned that being a mom is tough. It’s easy to compare yourself to other moms and question yourself. The truth is all moms struggle at times and feel inadequate. To all the moms out there who have struggled with breastfeeding, know that you are not alone. To all the moms out there who EP- whether you are an undersupplier, just-enougher, or oversupplier- you are amazing, and YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING- don’t let anyone make you feel any different. To all the moms out there who formula feed- know you’ve made the right choice for yourself and your baby- don’t let anyone make you feel like crap about it. To all moms who have struggled in general, know you’re not alone. Us moms gotta stick together and support one another. Most of motherhood is flying by the seat of your pants and learning as you go. Things don’t have to be perfect and that’s okay.

If you are a mom, you are a superhero. Even on the days you feel like you are sucking in the mom department, look around, I promise you your little one is looking up at you and thinking you are just fabulous.

Mother’s Day Mommy and Me Photo Shoot

Of course had to do a photo shoot with my sweet girl for Mother’s Day. My sister took the beautiful pictures that I will cherish forever.